Fuck off, Skeletor Fucking Junior, you fucking worthless pile of wankstained bones.
We rested up after returning to Oklahoma Fucking City, and in the downtime I hacked into the Orange Menace's Homeland Security system and obtained a green card for the mystic. Probably a good thing, as being a bit too brown for the current politics puts him at risk. Meanwhile the hippie was working with some broker on a hostile takeover of MCR. She also modified a paintball gun to fire the poisoned darts she'd obtained, and I gave her acid and pufferfish poison to make more darts with.
Skeletor and MCR seem to have finally learned some lessons, they have switched to a different email service that's encrypted. Getting intel from their system is going to be much more difficult now. Couldn't find much on what they're up to now, but we decided to hit the detention facilities they have. The one in the fucking awful Oklahoma panhandle was the first target since it was closer to completion. I found some rough building plans online, but nothing detailed. It was at some shithole called Evergreen Farms, which is such a fucking laugh considering how desolate shit is out there. Figured we'd need to blow shit up, so I ordered 70 lbs of Tannerite and went to get the homemade napalm the still-missing psychopathic pyromaniac had made.
The hippie couldn't pick the lock on the trunk and a bobby was watching us, but the mystic used some spell to make it sound like he'd gotten a call to go to some place called Valley Brook. Finally got the trunk open and took the napalm, made a few dozen Molotov cocktails with it.
We set out on the fucking 5 hour drive to the fucking panhandle fucking detention facility. Fucking awful drive. Finally get to the place and there's some bad shit going on. From what the hippie could tell, there was some kind of corrupting magical curse on the farm, turning the wheat they were growing sickly and slowly killing the individuals being held. Hoped to save them, but Skeletor Jr. foiled that plan. Fuck him and his fucking necromantic bullshit.
We drove down the road with Alexis tossing Molotovs into the field, setting it on fire, and she nailed the guard at the entrance with the last one. The wheat wasn't particularly dry so the fire spread slowly, and we set up the first IED in the guard shack. We'd used the surrender monkey's drone to scout ahead and located the security cameras, and I parked at the edge of the EMP gun's range to take them out. There were a couple skeleton guards and the leech drew their attention, and I got to test out the Bone Resonance Acoustic Gun.
Holy fuck that shit is awesome. Shattered each with one shot, spraying bone fragments everywhere! We'd brought the detcord with us this time, wrapped it around a diesel tank and through the storage barn full of MCR equipment, and set up the second IED in there. The leech sprayed as much of the fields with fuel as she could, but drew the attention of a couple more skeletons. She, the hippie, and the mystic handled one, with the hippie implementing the acid I gave her, and I finished off the second with the BRAG after taking out more cameras.
We tried and failed miserably at quietly breaking and entering the mansion. Got into the kitchen, heard footsteps coming, and I fired a taser at the first one through the door…which was a skeleton that was unaffected. Fuck. The leech dominated the bastard, though, and turned him against the other fucking skeletons. They took him out and the mystic took out the other three.
We searched the first room and found some old money Oklahoma lady who owned the farm. Apparently MCR had shown up and Skeletor Jr. dominated her husband, she told us he was further down the first floor while Skeletor Jr. and some MCR executives were upstairs. We sent her to the house's safe room, took out the guards with her husband, and when he threatened to shoot me with his bloody fucking huge revolver I tased him and tied him up.
By that time shit was going down and it turned into a blur. Four more skeletons came downstairs and the BRAG took care of them, and the drone showed four guards upstairs with Greg from Marketing. Fuck him up his bony arse. Tried to get the bastard to talk and he refused, instead he tossed a flashbang downstairs at the same time I tossed a Molotov up. Trapped them while we were dazed. Tossed a couple more Molotovs up and then we got the people still alive out…when that bastard hit me with some fucking spell that drained half my life.
Fine, Skeletor Jr., want to get nasty? I blew up the barn, with the explosion taking out half the mansion. He didn't take too well to that, and he killed all of the detainees, turning them into skeletons. Hundreds of them, and he killed several of the executives to heal himself, then hit me with another spell that deadened my muscles. Fuck off, you fucking fleshless cunt.
Most of the reanimating skeletons were in the detention building, so we started drawing the others to it. Found three human guards inside, gave them a chance to stand down, and they refused. Took them out pretty quickly, and while the others barred the doors and stairwell and set up the last of the explosives I drew the attention of the skeletons outside. Skeletor Jr. came to the window and I hit him with the BRAG. Didn't take him down, but pissed him off, and the spell he fired off hit the building as I ducked inside.
We made for one of the other doors and the leech barred the doors we'd used to get in while Greg From Marketing tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. Became pretty obvious when I hit the button and the building went up, obliterating his new army. We drove out again, making it through the burning fields, where we found three Cathoholics. What the bloody fuck? He started threatening us, I retorted that he's a child fucker.
Bastards opened fire on our SUV and I got hit. Barely hanging on I floored it, and their rule of cool move of standing close together in front of their vehicle and shooting straight at us turned out to be a bad one. Hit two of them, killing the one on the left end instantly when I ran him over, and sending the middle one flying. The hippie injured the third one while the leech kicked the door off to go deal with the leader I'd sent flying. Bastard teleported his cowardly ass away instead of dying, and I tasered the last one so we could interrogate him. Not sure what spell the hippie used, but I felt fucking great after she healed me a bit. We took the Cathoholics' SUV, left our badly damaged one next to the guard shack, and blew it and the shack up as we left.
Turns out the Cathoholics have decided they think they can handle the lich and we're in the way. Fuck off! Sergio or whatever the fuck the captive's name is spilled everything he knew. Apparently this O'Malley fucker is a zealot and wants to kill anyone who's not a Cathoholic and particularly the leech. Sergio personally doesn't see the point in engaging us, and we let him go with the understanding that he's going to try to get us help, or at least get the heat off us, while we take on Skeletor and Jr.
Since Greg From Marketing is well aware we're alive, I had no reservations about returning to taunting Skeletor. Hacked a huge digital billboard outside MCR's headquarters and now every other ad shows Skeletor getting fucked. I have a paintball claymore loaded with rainbow balls when I can get close. Next up is taking out the second detention facility, and I think I need to find Greg From Marketing's family. He may be skeletonized, but since he was turned after Skeletor showed up he must still have some attachments.