That was fucking amazing! Boris, or whatever the fuck his name is, was incapacitated as he recovered from being shot, so I worked with the bloody psychopath on getting into MCR International. After hacking into MCR’s private network I found that Skeletor, or whatever the fuck the abyssal plane lich’s name is, had taken over MCR and was now running it. I also found that the portal he had used to cross over was still active. That’s incredibly difficult to do, meaning there was something maintaining the portal from one side or the other.
After researching MCR’s security systems it appeared they had quite the setup, making it difficult to get in. I mused that I could build an electromagnetic pulse gun to disable sensors and cameras, though to keep it portable it would only get a dozen or so shots per laptop battery. The psychopath Robbie, in a rare moment of brilliance, exclaimed that we should use a Prius for the battery. After musing over it for several minutes I realized it could work, and instead of disabling sections of MCR’s compound it would eliminate all electronics within it; while he rented a Prius, I obtained the necessary components and a diesel truck that would not be affected by the EMP blast. We also put the surrender monkey’s C4 to good use; I created a wireless detonator and a backup timer for it, planning to use it to destroy whatever was keeping the portal open.
With Alexis accompanying us, we set out for MCR in fucking shithole Shawnee. I stayed out of the EMP blast radius while the psychopath and leech got the Prius into position and cranked up The Clash, appropriately “Should I Stay Or Should I Go.” Staying was worth it when the Prius bomb worked flawlessly, knocking out all of MCR’s electronics and backup systems. I drove the truck in and found and particularly dark spot to park.
The infrared lenses in the Wayfarers are incredibly useful, and I could tell where the private security was along with the psychopath and the suckhead. Somewhere along the way she had picked up a bum to be a guinea pig; she seemed to have him under some kind of spell, which she'd tried and failed on both me and the psychopath earlier. While they snuck in I stayed on watch near the door. They did well for a while, but about halfway through Alexis and the bum were detected. I threw a rock to distract the skeletons guarding the portal, which worked for a bit, until the psychopath fucked up and was also noticed and all hell broke loose. Several of the shots hit explosives and an RPG went off, blowing a hole in the building. As the other three raced through the portal I ran back to the truck, climbed in, and floored it into the building through the open doors. It was a straight shot into the portal.
I picked up the psychopath and the leech; there was a castle about a mile away from the portal, along with a number of MCR vehicles and trailers. Rocking out to Rancid’s “Time Bomb” I got us to the castle as quickly as possible; the demons guarding the gate wouldn't let us in, but they were confused by the punk rock and the psychopath claiming we were with MCR. I drove us around the side, set a 5 minute timer on the massive chunk of plastic explosive, and Alexis tossed it over the wall.
Making our getaway, we were confronted by a group of MCR personnel and skeletons who opened fire; I drove through them, gunned the trick through the portal, and obliterated four skeletons on the other side of the portal when we reemerged. The two security guards dived out of the way, and we saw the portal wink out of existence when the time reached zero. I floored the truck out of the compound, yelling at the stupid MCR cunts to fuck off.
After we returned to the office we checked out the shitty, biased local news, which was reporting the EMP blast as a terrorist attack. After getting up to date on the latest in the area, with the local bobbies linking the jailbreak of Boris and the EMP blast, I shredded the guitar again. Before going to bed I hacked into MCR’s system again, replaced Kel’Izzack’s portrait with one of Skeletor, and rewrote his biography to include details about how his mummy issues are the root of his lust for power. Then I sent a company wide email:
SKELETOR GOT BUMFUCKED
No more portal to the abyssal plane, so stop thinking with them, fuckwad. Awa’ n boil your head, you bawfaced jizztrumpet, before we ram a horse cock through your maw. We're coming for you, you lavvy-headed wankstain. Fuck off back to your shithole abyssal plane. MCR employees, if you have half a fucking brain cell you'll get the fuck out of the way while you still have a fucking chance, you miserable fucks.
MCR seems to be at the center of things, but with the portal closed for the time being it seems we should investigate their other activities. The contract they have for deporting people seems like a good place to start, unless something else comes up.