Bloody fucking skeletons, infiltrators, vampires, and psychotic Americans. I’m ready to return to Scotland. Charles won’t let me leave, though.
Charles and Alexis showed up at the office; they had information on a lich in some shithole called Shawnee. Robbie, one of the most unstable individuals I have ever encountered, and some fucking continental French fuck, and I were already preparing to retrieve a magic user who had been captured in some fuckplace called Kingfisher. Not much information on the target, other than he had been at an archaeological dig in the middle of the night and a bobby stumbled upon him, but he was being held for pickup by MCR International, the corporation where the lich had appeared.
Alexis accompanied the team to Kingfisher, where the French fuck managed to get us in. The psychopath Robbie nearly killed one of the deputies on the way. We finally get in and the bastard we’re trying to retrieve fires lightning at the frog, who then sprays the cell. Alexis stopped him, at which point the fucking cunt went suicidal and was ready to blow the fucking building. Fucking religious fanatic cunts. I’m not sure how she stopped him, but Alexis was glowing purple a bit when I returned and the surrender monkey was dead.
We took the Russian magic user with us, and he wanted some shit called a coney from a shithole called Sonic. Bloody disgusting, but it got him to stop his fucking whining about being hungry and having been shot. The joyberries I gave him seemed to help as well, though I suspect he’s now addicted to them. He led us to the archaeological site he’d been arrested at, where there were fucking skeletons and some douchewad little shit who looked a lot like that bloody American fascist leader’s pencil-dicked spawn.
Things went to shit in a hurry. It’s still largely a blur, but I ended up at the bottom of the pit with the fucking psychopath. We managed to get into what turned out to be a crypt; it was made out of abyssal stone, which is fucking terrifying enough. The psychopath’s pyromania did come in handy when the fucking skeletons tried to come in; he managed to splash the entry with homemade napalm, though the skeletons refused to listen to me when I repeatedly told them to fuck off.
One of the skeletons managed to get in, and after Robbie fucked it up I finished it off with my spoon through the braincase. Need to disinfect and sanitize it. Alexis and Robbie found a necromancy necklace in a box for Red Cloud, and we retrieved all the computer equipment and paperwork we could find in the trailer on site. Alexis had apparently ripped out the heart of the douchewad in charge, which I was not disappointed by, although between that and her killing of the frog I’m suspicious. The bloody Russkie was jamming to some horrendous shit he called Lenard Skinard or something. Bloody uncultured fool, though he may prove useful.
Back at the office I hacked what we had found in the trailer, and while most of it was mundane there were several things that stood out. One was from the Chief Operating Officer of MCR, and another was footage of the douchewad meeting with what looked like the lich we have a shit photo of from MCR. Something to investigate further. I did find footage of the Slav getting captured by skeletons, which was absolutely hilarious in his inability to demonstrate anything resembling discretion or stealth, and I uploaded that part of the video to Youtube. Finished unwinding by shredding the guitar.
With the surrender monkey’s death, it appears I’ve become the default leader. Time to visit MCR in that shithole called Shawnee, then.